punkitt-is-here:

this duck LOVES pink drink

ot3:

nothing is scarier than seeing what the front page of YouTube looks like when you’re not logged in

gimmickbird:

Cowboy who introduces himself by telling you often and hard he cries feels like a tumblr text post

frogmunist:

frogmunist:

thinking of the time I ordered olive garden online and I put “please speak to me in an Italian accent” in the special requests category and completely forgot about it, and when I went to pick it up the guy comes out and goes “eyyy I got-a your-a order bappada boopity!” and when I told him he didn’t actually have to do it he was like “a-nooo I was-a looking forward to it! I was-a the only one-a brave enough to do it!”

there are literally ppl in the notes acting like I made this up…. guys if I were gonna make up a story it would be about literally anything other than this

arsonforcharlie:

pengychan:

pengychan:

My brother’s girlfriend had HPV, so he went to get himself the HPV vaccine. There is a fee to pay (nothing much, something like €87) but it’s completely free if you’re in one of the “at risk” groups.

“What does that mean,” he asks.
“It’s free if you’re gay,” he’s told.
“Ah. Would I have to like, prove it, or…?”
“Just put in a check mark here.”

My brother is in no way, shape or form attracted to men, but also he’s stingy as it gets. So now he’s officially gay. Congrats bro.

“Doctor, give it to me straight”
“You sure, there’s a fee”
“… Give it to me gay”

AGAB (Assigned Gay At Billing)

pflugy17:

a-doctor-not-a-fangirl:

This Year by The Mountain Goats // Dishes in the Sink by David Showalter